It has taken me a while to finish this blogpost. I think it’s because I am saying out loud that I am depressed with all that is going on right now. But I don’t feel so alone in this state, because when I have shared these feelings with my friends and family, they encourage me to sit with these feelings rather than try to fight them, because this is how it is right now. That alone, shows that I have so much support.
I initially wrote this post going on and on with my daily struggles of the damage to our Earth. The things that bring me down, and how certain things just eat at me. But I am just going to sit with these feelings. They are my acquaintance on the bench at the bus stop, they are dancing next to me in Zumba, they are here right now as I cook chickpeas and write this blog.
Three remarkable things happened to me tonight at the grocery store.
The first two, were pieces of hope:
As I was telling the cashier about “Taring it up,” (the lifestyle and this blog) he said, “Well we need people to be doing this, so don’t get discouraged and keep it up.”
The second thing was the song that was playing, “Calling All Angels” by Train where the lyrics said, “I need to know that things are gonna look up…”
The third thing was how I inspired another:
I was filling up my reused ziplock bag with mushrooms. It was a pretty beat up bag, obvious that I brought it from home. This woman was also picking out mushrooms while her husband walked up to her, and in Spanish says, “Mira, ella usa su propia bolsa.” I looked back and smiled. Little did they know, I understood that they were talking about me and my reused bag.
These three things gave me a boost to continue doing what I am doing. And part of that, is writing on this blog. Sometimes I just want to (okay most of the time) turn off the radio or avoid the news, because I am scared of how it makes me feel. Or I will watch sitcoms or read a beach book because they drift me away from reality. It is impossible to live in a bubble, but right now I need to limit myself to all that is going on. And I think that is okay.
This is a weird time in the United States right now, and we are all trying to figure out where to put our energy. It can be so overwhelming to want to make a difference but unsure of where to start.
I don’t have any answers for you, but what I can shed light on, is the importance of sitting with whatever feelings you have right now and telling someone about them.
I ran into this yesterday on Instagram, I am not sure who originally wrote it.